The Daily Mama

Last night’s panic attack was a shock to my system. I haven’t felt like that in such a long time. And normally when I feel that way, my heart is racing and I feel like I’m fighting for my life. This time was a little different; I didn’t have a racing heart and was aware that I was having a panic attack.

The small subtle differences in the way I feel during each attack confuse my brain and make me think, “girl, this isn’t a panic attack, YOU’RE DYING!”

But once I can release control back to my body and see that it’s really just a panic attack with different physical manifestations, I start to find some relief. So I went back and forth between feeling like I was dying and feeling like it was all a stupid joke. Just talking to my husband about taking some medication to get rid of the attack made me feel better. But it would continue to return a few moments later.

That’s when I knew I needed to take some of the medicine I’m prescribed for moments like these. I just hate taking prescription meds; I feel like I’m not supposed to put that stuff in my body. I try to go a more natural route and have been using CBD to manage my anxiety the past 2 years. It usually works great, but it’s not quite what I need to stop an actual panic attack.

After I popped a pill, I went and laid down in the kids’ room to decompress. It’s funny; they cause me a lot of anxiety during the day, but at night when they’re asleep and still, they are the best comforting balls of peace that I need in my life.

I’ll probably continue to medicate throughout the day to keep me at level 0. Normally after I take medication, I don’t take it again for over a year. Let’s hope it’s the same this go ’round.